this icing is bitter

August 30, 2012 | 54 Comments

Moustache painting and friends

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  • Annabelle

    Oh man, I can identify with this so much. It reminds me of a quote from Melissa Banks’ The Girls’ Guide to Hunting and Fishing that has been haunting me since my early twenties:

    “Making jokes is your way of saying Do you love me? and when someone laughs you think they’ve said yes.”

    Sometimes I feel like that is how I live ALL THE TIME and it is exhausting. And not very fulfilling.

    • Shannon

      Oooh. I loved that book. I did not remember that quote, but it’s great. Exhausting and unfulfilling, indeed.

  • N

    So happy.

    Call me if you want to share revelations!

    • Shannon


  • Andrea

    This was so perfect. So perfectly worded. Beautiful sentiments that you feel you want for your daughter, yourself, I have a 5yo and feel the same, but I know it’s slightly soon to try to push into her thoughts, because it would feel this way to her at five. But what you’ve done here sounds so sensible. Weird word. I never seem to feel it as a mom. Thank you for sharing and for guiding your little one in this way. I’d send you love but I barely know you and would that be weird? ;)

    • Shannon

      “Push into her thoughts.” I love that. I’ll take all the love you’d like to send. I don’t think it’s weird at all. I love people. I give love away freely. There are lots of peeps I don’t like and wouldn’t choose to have in my life, but I’ll love every last one.

      Thanks for being here! I really like your blog. :)

  • Sara

    Can you be my mom? Or at least my jiminy cricket?

  • kiki

    I am impatient with her neediness because I’m drowning in my own.

    Holy crap–yes! I find myself horrified that the people I get most annoyed with are people that have aspects of ME and THAT’S what annoys me and then I freak out about my own self and wonder if I read just like that person who is driving me crazy does. aaaaah! That’s a lot of worrying about what other people think, sheesh. But yes, I think there is a sense of us where we get frustrated at the actions or character flaws in others that we’ve already identified in ourselves.

  • Herb Schardt

    Very cool stuff. It’s really great Grow supports such art!

    • Shannon

      Thanks, Herb!

  • Birdman

    We found a picture on a FB page called “Awkward Teens” that was four young girls, probably between 10 and 14. They sent in photos for the page admin to put together so people could vote on who was prettiest. One of the pictures was our oldest. We asked the admin to please take it down, and then had a talk with the 11 year old about how she should never need anyone else’s approval on how she looks, and that she was beautiful, funny, and smart. We tried asking her why she felt the need to be rated by strangers, but being 11, she just kept yelling to leave her alone and that she didn’t know why. We are kind of hitting a communication wall with her, because she just won’t talk to us. Everyone I talk to says that it’s the media that ingrains it in a girl’s head from when she’s a baby. This desire for everyone to think she’s pretty. That pisses me off.

    Anyhow, that’s basically one of the blog posts I have in the works, so you don’t need to bother reading if you see it.

    Great post and point, as always.

    • Shannon

      I’ve heard about this happening on Instagram. They’re called beauty pageants. UG. I’m sorry this happend, Chris. Yuck. Hopefully she’ll come around to talking to you. Maybe let up on asking her to explain why–because my guess is that she truly doesn’t know. I would give her some ideas why and mostly listen. Just keep loving her hard.

      Thanks for sharing this with me.

      Oh… maybe see if she’ll talk to a trusted friend? As a kid, I wanted to talk, but sometimes just not to my parents.

      Good luck and hugs!

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