fear is a survivor

September 5, 2012 | 21 Comments

dark image of Shannon looking at you

In Vancouver I’m surrounded by people living with less. By choice and circumstance. A handful quit their jobs to pursue what they love, and some days teeter on broke, but they seem alive with passion, possibility and fight.

In Alberta we were ridiculously financially stable, had jobs we weren’t likely to lose, drunk on friendship and family, and owned a home with more square footage a family of three needs. We were safe. But I didn’t want to say I’d lived and died there. I didn’t want to avoid something out of fear. I didn’t want to get to the end of my life knowing I’d settled for safe.

And so we moved. It was and continues to be terrifying, but I’m so proud of myself. Of us.

I wish I could approach the rest of my life this way. I wish I had the ovaries to go after what I want. First, I wish I could figure out what that is. It’s a messy stew of options that overwhelm and keep me in the land of status quo.

Fear pulls out her glow sticks in the dark. I follow.

I’m really gonna kick myself for that some day.


Today’s NaBloPoMo prompt is: Bob Marley asked: “Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?” How would you answer him?

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