a note before residential therapy

November 8, 2012 | 16 Comments

Wing of a plane while flying

I’m hopping on a plane in 5 hours to head to Alberta for the residential therapy retreat.

I’ve successfully participated in NaBloPoMo for 8 days now, which is better than I thought I’d do. My plan was to upload a bunch of entries from the archives and some new stuff scheduled to publish while I’m away. I managed to get 5 archives up that will publish every other day, but I haven’t written anything fresh.

I’m fairly certain I won’t have time (or permission?) to blog while I’m away, so hopefully those five entries will be entertaining enough to maintain this friendship we’ve started. I’m going to need you to do most of the work for a few days. It’ll feel like I’m not that into you, but I swear I adore the shit out of you.

Here’s a peek into my head as I think about what I’m about to do:

  • What if I come back just as noodle-headed as ever?
  • What if I don’t?
  • What if healing childhood hurt unlocks my brokenness in a way that lets me live inside freedom and kick the world’s fucking ass?
  • What if loving myself and believing I am worth the space I occupy is addicting AND THEN THERE’S NO STOPPING ME, WORLD?
  • What if  this is a waste of time and money?
  • What if I don’t fucking care because I’m going to put my whole self into it and be open to anything even if it’s just a little bit of change, a little bit of healing, a little bit of hope, a little bit of anything—it’s still progress.
  • What if I run out of clean ginch?

Again, I have no idea if I’ll have the ability to reply, but coming home to comment love is just about the greatest gift I can imagine—so speak up in the peanut gallery!


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Joining up with Yeah Write for BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo. No guilt. Just fun.

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  • Jocelyn

    Then I will leave you ALL the comment love! I will never forgive them if they permanantly remove you of your lovely noodle-headedness, but I hope they help you believe you can be noodleheaded and awesome.

    Don’t over think that. hee! xo

    • Shannon

      It’s probably impossible to completely lobotomize anyone of their noodle-headedness. I promise to keep some. Especially since you’re offering ALL the comment love.

  • http://www.simplyelemental.blogspot.com Jenn

    My vote is for bullet points three and four. Rock it, sister!

    • Shannon

      I vote for those, too. Running out of ginch will be problematic.

      Thanks, friend. :)

  • Kim

    1. I am super jealous that you’re going and I’m not. I loved my process – even the hard, yucky, painful, uncomfortable parts – and there were lots. I’m not gonna lie.

    2. I can FEEL your commitment and that is a major turn on.

    3. What if you just released all curiosity and expectations and just left yourself open to being unfolded?

    4. Sanctum is a Catholic retreat. There will be pictures of Jesus on the wall. Maybe even in your room. I felt like I needed to prepare you for that. It’s the building not the program.

    5. Promise yourself, in the moments that feel deep and foreboding, when you might want to guffaw, chortle, buck it, condemn or peel a blackie in your way outta there, you’ll RECOMMIT to finishing it.

    6. If not so you can unpack your baggage, so you are equipped to Emma keep her baggage from getting TOO heavy when you get home.

    I am a little birdie on your shoulder. Xoxoxo

    • Shannon

      1. I am prepared to be uncomfortable. The good things are worth discomfort.

      2. I like turning you on.

      3. Unfold me, universe.

      4. Maybe I’ll white out the beards on each one I encounter in honour of Movember.

      5. Promise, promise. (You’ll know what this means if you’ve seen the movie Step Mom.)

      6. For me. For Emma. For Steve. For my heart. For the hearts of those holding mine.

      I love you, Kimmie. Thanks for your love.

  • Nonie Chalmers

    I am applauding for bullet number four! It would be fantastic if that became your reality. And I would always bring you extra ginch only I would call it gauch! I am your cheerleader!

    • Shannon

      Ginch, gaunch, gotch, gonch, ginch goch, panties. Please stand by. Love you, Noners.

  • http://bellejarblog.wordpress.com Annabelle

    What if I come back just as noodle-headed as ever?

    Then we will still love you! We will love you no matter what. And we will help you come up with a new plan of attack.

    What if I don’t?

    Then you will have to figure out how to adjust your life to that fact. My guess is that it will be both AMAZING and SCARY trying to figure out how to live in a non noodle-headed world.

    What if healing childhood hurt unlocks my brokenness in a way that lets me live inside freedom and kick the world’s fucking ass?

    See above!

    What if loving myself and believing I am worth the space I occupy is addicting AND THEN THERE’S NO STOPPING ME, WORLD?

    SEE ABOVE. Hahahaha.

    What if this is a waste of time and money?

    It won’t be a waste of time and money, because you’ll have tried it, and know that it’s not for you. You can then move on to figuring out the next step. Nothing that you do to try to get well is ever going to be a waste of time and money, because you are invaluable, Shanners.

    What if I don’t fucking care because I’m going to put my whole self into it and be open to anything even if it’s just a little bit of change, a little bit of healing, a little bit of hope, a little bit of anything—it’s still progress.

    Then you get a thousand high fives!

    What if I run out of clean ginch?

    Wash them in the sink, duh.

    xoxoxo

    Anne

    • Kim

      Anne, I love you. Those might be the best answers anyone ever gave. Shannz… You’ve got amazing love in your life.

      • Shannon

        I do, I do. So much love.

    • Shannon

      You are fifty-five million shades of beautiful. And calling me Shanner made me cry. xo

      See above.

      • http://bellejarblog.wordpress.com Annabelle

        xoxoxo now I’m going to call you nothing BUT Shanners. HAH.

  • Olly Dolly

    I can’t wait to see the world try and stop you!

    Also, Costco the ginch situation. Undies in bulk!

    I love you, Shannon. Thank you for spreading your Shannon-ness and helping me become a more honest and truthful Olly.

    <3

    • Shannon

      I love you, too, Olly. This is an egg/chicken situation; you inspire me.

  • http://splatospheric.blogspot.com MizYank

    Your self-awareness impresses me, your courage moves me, and your singular skills with the word “ginch” really get me. I just met you but I’m already attached. You’re great.