infographic breakdown and contest winners

November 20, 2012 | 43 Comments

Shannon Fisher wearing a toque or knit cap

Clearly my infographic aptitude is too vanguard for my circle of friends; notta one of you guessed correctly. Steve thinks it’s because my infographic makes no sense.

Bollocks to this!

So, dear reader, I shall spell out for you what I attempted to simplify with my red-hot artistic ability:

Steve was upstairs putting Emma to bed with stories and cuddles. I was downstairs in charge of the refreshment portion of our evening. I made a jug of juice and poured a glass for each of us. As I started drinking mine, I thought to myself, if Steve is as thirsty as he normally is (which is very thirsty) he’s probably going to want more to drink forthwith.

If we both have a second glass, there won’t be much left in the jug for my thirsty guy. I should drink all of this first jug myself and make a second jug all before his return. This way my thirst will be quenched, and upon completion of his first glass, Steve will be enchanted to discover he has an entire second jug all to himself—no sharing necessary!

Now that I’ve explained it, I can see you’re embarrassed you missed it. I can also sense you now understand the depth of my brilliance—no need to say it. Don’t speak.

There were, as it turns out, two flaws in my thinking:

  1. As I began feverishly drinking my way through the first jug to make room for the second, I started to feel bloated and ill, and was forced to abort my plan.
  2. When Steve returned to find the jug three-quarters gone, he accused me of juice-hoarding (in ma belleh), failing to understand my very sensible (and thoughtful) logic.

Behold—an infographic was born!

Without second jug and with second jug info graphic

It’s okay, dear reader, science isn’t for everyone.

In the spirit of condescending charity at your inferior intellect, I’m choosing three winners:

In the category of most mathematical:

Melissa: If you mix a story(st) + bullsh@!(sh) then the cup is always half full. More (st) your cup runneth over.

In the category of most rabbit-hole-ish:

Olly: This is so obvious! It is about whether or not you would order another jug of beer.

First, you give it away by saying you and Steve were enjoying an evening of silliness in June. You’re a teacher and we teachers consume unhealthy (arguable) amounts of alcohol in that awful “house-keeping-babysitting-yes, the sun is shining, but I said ‘sit down’-report card writing” month.

I couldn’t help but notice the absence of Emma in your opening line. As she is such an integral part to many of your writings I further assume you were in a pub – a place where, because of stupid laws, Emma would not be able to be. [Aside: I’m sure she can rock a Shirley Temple drink whilst chatting up adults in any pub…stupid laws]

Clearly, from the top line, just one jug would lead to empty feelings, possible sadness, and discontent. It appears that both Shannon and Steve had equal portions of the first jug of beer.

By reading the second line of the infographic it is evident that the second jug of beer would lead to much merriment – note the face on the far right, clearly happy and merry. I would assume that Shannon’s portion increased and therefore the pictorial reference with “St” reveals he settled with a scotch or something of equal manliness.

Finally, you Fishers are a family of technology and one can’t help notice that you consistently instatweetbook while pursuing most activities, but this wasn’t posted until the next morning. I am arguing here that you did order the second jug of beer, consumed it, and had much fun.

And in the category of Keep-it-Simple-Stupid:

Jessica: I’m going to go with beer. 1 jug equals sharing and sadness, and 2 jugs equals Shannon gets a whole jug and happiness?

Please send me your mailing address and colour preference(s). The rumours are true; along with my infographic moxie, I have mad-knitter skillz, so I’m giving you a choice between a toque or a scarf.

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Joining up with Yeah Write for BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo. No guilt. Just fun. 

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