driving ms. shannon

November 29, 2012 | 54 Comments

Cars driving in the early morning in Vancouver

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  • Kim

    Just that you can now see that dynamic play out – your awareness that the imbalance exists – is brilliant progress. Wow!

    You ARE waaay smarter than you give yourself credit for and I know you will figure it all out and make adjustments. Great piece of writing, too. I was right there with you.


    • Shannon

      Thanks, Kim. This is a new kind of awareness. It’s pretty great. Still hard, but great.


  • Kim

    Aaand you can take whatever fucking route you please … It will lead you there eventually, won’t it?

    • Shannon

      YES. And I will.

  • http://audrawilliams.livejournal.com Audra

    This totally made me cry. I’m a lot like this, and struggling with how to best work through it, too.

    • Shannon

      I love you, Aud. It’s a hard pattern to shift. Let’s keep working at it. xo

  • Jennie

    Good for you for catching the pattern and naming the acts.

    I don’t drive at all. So I have a few Rules about passenging:

    Rule 1: The Driver is Driving.
    Rule 2: If I’m not comfortable with the Driver’s driving, I can get out of the car.
    Rule 3: The Driver picks the music.
    Rule 4: Don’t hit the driver (I don’t hit anyone, but I had a friend who used to drive me places and it was his rule, and it stuck).

    I will navigate if I’m asked to. Sometimes, if Red appears to be lost in thought and the light has gone green, I’ll mention it to him. Otherwise, I let the driver drive.

    Interestingly, this has started to carry over into other parts of my life: if Red is cooking, I’ll let him cook and not second guess, even if I think he’s using too much pepper or the wrong knife or something. If he asks me to chop something, I’ll chop it, but he’s in charge. He now does the same for me. Dinner tastes better, even when it doesn’t.

    • Shannon

      I like your rules. They’re fun AND helpful. A gift, really.

  • http://murphywritinglife.wordpress.com A. Mary Murphy

    Programming is a powerful thing, and when it’s combined with the impostor syndrome that so many women feel, it’s even more potent. Taking a different route isn’t the same as getting lost, and a helpful suggestion isn’t the same as an attempt to undermine. But Shannon! You’re using critical thinking to sort it out! So much better than violence.

    • Shannon

      Critical thinking… didn’t you touch on this in class? Maybe my husband has you to thank?

  • kristineah

    As an ex missionary cum i.dunno.what.the.fuck.i.believe.now I just wanted to say I love your blog. I abandoned mine a year ago. maybe that was a mistake. maybe not. now that I am freshly laid off I will re-invent myself. thanks for writing.

    • Shannon

      What made you abandon your blog? I’d love to read your words! Thanks for your encouragement about mine. I’m SO happy you’re here, lady!

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