we invented a new, simpler dessert

February 19, 2013 | 18 Comments

Steve Fisher pointing at his moustache

I was busy at the counter when he came in the kitchen. I felt smug take over my face. I didn’t bother turning around. “How was your apple pie last night?” I was sure he could hear my grin.

“What—are you mad? I only had one piece. Leave a note if you don’t want me to eat stuff.” Steve has a reputation of devouring treats. I’m frequently on his case about missing foods I had other plans for—like my mouth, for instance.

“Relax, man,” I turned to face him, holding a knife in my right hand, still pleased with myself. “I was only asking how the pie was. Did you like it?”

“Yeah… it was fine. Very pie-like?” I was confusing him.

“Not too… crunchy?” I bit my bottom lip.

“Maybe it was a little crunchy, but still good.” He was being patient.

“Did you eat the whole piece of pie?” My knife cut through the air on “whole.”

“Yes, I ate the whole piece of pie!” Patience gone.

“And nothing seemed… off about it?” Like the Grinch’s heart, my grin doubled in size.

“Shannon, the pie was good. What is this about?”

“Dude, the pie hasn’t been cooked yet. You can’t even call it pie! It’s apples wrapped in dough. How did you not notice!?”

“I thought the crust had gotten soggy from sitting in the fridge.”

“I think you were a barnyard animal in a past life.”

I don’t have to dig deep to figure out why we don’t fit the Foodist culture so prevalent in Vancouver. There’s not a lot of discriminating taste buds around here. If any.


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  • Marisa

    This is absolute comedy and I almost peed my pants. Steve, that is so gross!

    • Shannon

      Can you even imagine getting through a whole piece of uncooked pie, Marisa? Srsly.

  • http://prettypessimist.com Kristyn

    Hilarious!! This sounds like something my husband would do. Except he’d eat it knowing that it was raw and then like “what?” lol

    • Shannon

      Steve still stands by his decision. He makes me laugh.

  • Karling

    LOVE IT! Except I might eat it on purpose myself. I am bad that way. But I would know. For some really odd reason I enjoy raw pie dough. Never though of going to the effort of making the whole pie and then eating it raw though, I bet those were some crunchy apples.

    Hope you don’t mind… in your physical absence from my life I have been “fangirl” stalking you. Must mean I miss you as much a Sisu misses Sloan. It must also mean that great things are to come because I don’t stalk often, and the last time I did I landed Aaron. You might be stuck with me for a while. Either that or you will have to move.

    My birthday is coming, I think that means you will be OBLIGATEDto hang with me soon!

    Oh, and after stalking you, I would like to say that I am a little envious. You have the ovaries to do lots, lady. To write like this is one thing… putting it out there for the world is another, but then you put it out there with your name on it for the people you know to read, and love, and judge. I don’t have even the first level of this kind of skill or courage.

    Love yous!

    • Shannon

      This is the best kind of stalking!

      We’ll have to eat some raw apple pie for your birthday, I guess! Can’t wait. :)

      LOVE YOU TOO.

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